So this week we received an envelope full of those coupon “flyers” that usually seem to be for upscale items like maid services or meal delivery companies. Included in the stack of same-size, well-designed coupon/ads was one promoting Kuvée, a wine delivery service with a twist. Kuvée’s offering utilizes a “smart bottle,” which looks like an iPhone screen built into a wine bottle. The wireless-connected smart bottle allows you to learn about the wine you are drinking, and even order new wines directly from the bottle.
Well, I can’t decide if this is the coolest thing ever or exactly what’s wrong with our continuing, headlong (descent? ascent? let’s say “journey”) towards all things tech-related. Do we really need a touch screen on our wine bottle? I know many book readers, myself included, who scoffed when the Kindle was introduced, but I now happily download e-books. They’re sometimes cheaper than buying the paper versions, and (I justify to the part of me that actually enjoys holding a real book), better for the environment. Is this where wine buying is headed?
To find out, I watched the introductory video at kuvee.com. The host, a dapper-bearded-hipster gentleman, starts off by throwing down the gauntlet. “As good as wine is when you open a bottle, it only tastes that way for about a day,” he says with an expression that can only be described as a cross between a wink-like twinkle and a smirk. Whaaat? In addition to that maybe-flawed premise, Kuvée seems to be staking their market positioning on two other tenets: one, sometimes a couple may not want to share the same bottle of wine, and two, your friends are really going to dig this cool bottle.
In our household, other than the random red that just didn’t cut it, wine is generally consumed before it ever has a chance to “go bad.” Although I do agree with the idea that maybe you might want a red while your significant other prefers a white. That makes sense. But the video also heavily implies that this system is a great way to impress a bunch of friends at a fancy dinner party, who will be so busy admiring the smart bottle that they may not finish a whole bottle of wine. Really? Not my group of friends. My group of friends drink wine like a yapping bunch of glass-clinking wolves. I barely have a chance to get the cork out before I toss it to the pack and hope for the best.
In the video, a smart-looking (but obviously headed toward a bitter divorce) couple’s group of friends are much better behaved. But their friend who drinks rosé is depicted as being as off kilter and unwelcome as a glass of cabernet with an ice cube floating in it. His friends act as if it's generally accepted that we all have to watch our backs around those rosé drinkers. Mr. Rosé's performance leaves you wondering if there is a back story, like maybe "rosé" is code for that one time they all agreed to never mention again.
Overall the quirkiness of this video tows the line between ridiculous and brilliant – sort of like the product itself.
I’m not sure this thing will take off but I do like that the individual wine bottles (that you plug into the smart bottle cover) are made out of light, recyclable aluminum or plastic. And if I ever find myself at a dinner party where the hosts serve wine in a smart bottle, I will do my best to oooh and awww all over it. And watch my back around the rosé drinkers.
The smart bottle's touch screen shows you how many glasses remain.
Mr. Rosé looks a bit demented.